A Poetry Exercise and Prompt: From "Meeting the Mountain" to "Amniotic Steps"

This prompt was offered to me today by my poetry professor, Steven Salmoni. Select a poem written by someone else. Write it on a page, but leave an empty line between each line of the poem. In the spaces, write lines between the lines. Now, write only your originally created lines. Polish and edit as necessary. Dr. Salmoni also suggested I try the exercise by using the poem "Meeting the Mountains" by Gary Snyder. Below, the exercise.

First, Gary Snyder (with spaces)

Meeting the Mountains

He crawls to the edge of the foaming creek

He backs up the slab ledge

He puts a finger in the water

He turns to a trapped pool

Puts both hands in the water

Puts one foot in the pool

Drops pebbles in the pool

He slaps the water surface with both hands

He cries out, rises up and stands

Facing toward the torrent and the mountain

Raises up both hands and shouts three times!

Now, the mix: me in the spaces.

He crawls to the edge of the foaming creek

The mouth of the river open

He backs up the slab ledge

Only in distant rills do brooks dare to babble

He puts a finger in the water

He assays the value of the sashaying current

He turns to a trapped pool

Lapping interest at penniless banks

Puts both hands in the water

Reaching for midnight

Puts one foot in the pool

Takes an amniotic step

Drops pebbles in the pool

Rippling the moment

He slaps the water surface with both hands

Before folding in despair

He cries out, rises up and stands

In the black-beamed spotlight of an empty moon

Facing toward the torrent and the mountain

Daring a clock-faced wrist watch to tick off a second

Raises up both hands and shouts three times!

Ollie, Ollie, oxen free

Now, just my poem, with a little polishing, but not too much. I want it to retain its spontaneous feel.

Amniotic Steps

The mouth of the river

Open

Mute

Straining distant fingers

Dare to brook babble

Assay current's sashay

Lapping lacking interest

On penniless banks

Reaching for midnight

On amniotic steps

Rippling rings

Cross the glassy night

Before folding in despair

The black-beamed spotlight

Of an ancient, empty moon

Dares his clock-faced

Wrist watch to

Tick off

Even one more

Second

All-in

All-in

Walk-in
Free